Today, I’d like to share with you one of my all-time favorite quotes by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish from their book, How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk:

“Let us be different in our homes.  Let us realize that along with food, shelter, and clothing, we have another obligation to our children, and that is to affirm their “rightness.”  The whole world will tell them what’s wrong with them—loud and often.  Our job is to let our children know what’s right about them.”

It’s so easy to get caught up in the frustrations of everyday life with kids and lose sight of what really matters.  Please make a copy of this quote and put it up where you can read it often to stay motivated and focused on what’s really important.

Are your kids not listening to a word you say?  Would you love to have them stop and really listen when you talk?

Well, instead of talking more and more or louder and louder, try something different.  Stop and really listen to them.  I know, I know…you thought this was about getting them to listen to you.  And it is!

If you’re constantly distracted, staring at the computer, watching TV, or texting on your phone when your kids are talking, you’re teaching them exactly how NOT to listen.

One of the secrets to getting your kids to listen is to really listen to them.  By giving your kids your undivided attention when they are talking, you’ll be teaching them how to listen effectively.  AND once kids feel heard they’ll be more eager to hear what you have to say.

This week in one conversation, instead of trying to get your kids to listen to you, stop and really listen to them.  You’ll be surprised by what happens!  The more you listen to your kids, the more they’ll listen to you!

“What’s wrong with you, can’t you do anything right?”  “You’re driving me crazy.”  “That was a stupid thing to do!”

For just a moment, shrink yourself back to child size and imagine you’ve just heard those words.  How would you feel?  Hurt, humiliated, angry…or maybe resentful?

In your daily struggles to get your kids to stop misbehaving, it’s so tempting to use any method that works.  Yelling, criticizing and threatening may get compliance, but at what cost?  Any favorable results may be only temporary…and can lead to bigger problems.

Your words have a powerful impact on your kids.  Anytime you make a child feel shamed or belittled, you ultimately make your work much harder.  Kids can easily become angry, resentful and defiant.

One of the secrets to getting your kids to listen is to treat your kids the way you would want to be treated…even when you’re dealing with misbehavior.  Kids who are treated with kindness and respect will feel good about themselves.  And they are more likely to be respectful and considerate of others, too…including YOU!

Just for this week, make a conscious effort to pay close attention to the words that you are saying to your kids.  If you were a little (or big) kid, how would you feel hearing those words?

Just for a moment, imagine that you’ve spent the whole day with someone who criticized everything you did, nagged at you constantly and barked out endless orders.  By the end of the day, how would you feel?  Would you feel much like listening…or cooperating?

Well, kids feel the same way!  In fact, children who are criticized too much are very likely to feel discouraged and defeated.  Criticism often leads to more misbehavior, which then provokes more criticism…which leads to more misbehavior.

Not exactly the result you were wishing for!  By focusing on everything your child is doing wrong, you can actually create the opposite of what you really want!

One of the secrets to getting your kids to listen is to decide which things are really, really important and then to overlook the rest of the small stuff.  You can actually make your job as a parent much easier if you keep the negative comments and nagging to a minimum.

Just as experiment for the next week, keep as many of your negative comments to yourself.  Then watch what happens.  Your kids will probably be more likely to listen to the things you DO say!

“Blah….blah….blah…blah…blah…”

Have you ever noticed that in the “Charlie Brown” TV specials, the voice of the parents is just an annoying sound with no audible words?  I wonder why that is?

Well, studies show that many children hear almost 10 times more negative comments than positive ones per day.  So, is it any surprise that most kids have learned to tune-out their parents?

In the daily struggles of being a parent, it’s so easy to get in the habit of paying more attention to everything that’s wrong with your kids.

One of the secrets to getting your kids to listen is to focus on everything that’s right about them!  Start spending more time cheering about your kids’ accomplishments than yelling about their mistakes and misbehaviors.  Talk more about their endearing qualities than their exasperating ones.

Just for this week, every day tell your kids at least 3 things that you appreciate and love about them.  You’ll be amazed by what happens!  Your kids will actually want to hear what you have to say.  And, I bet, they’ll never again hear your words as, “Blah…blah…blah…”

Are you feeling stressed-out and frustrated with your kids?

Are you wishing they would just listen and do what you tell them?

The solution is easier than you might think!  One of the secrets to getting your kids to listen more and to behave better is to start having more fun together.  The time you spend enjoying each other can make a huge difference.

The shared activities, fun times and laughter will build a more loving relationship between you and your kids.  And with a close, caring relationship, you’ll have much more influence on your kids…and parenting will be much easier.

When kids feel valued and loved, they’ll have a much better attitude towards themselves AND their parents.  And guess what?  They’ll be much more likely to listen and to cooperate, too.

So, what are you waiting for?  Get out and go to the park, visit a zoo, play a board game, read funny stories, or just act silly together.  This week, have more fun with your kids.

For years, I was an amazing expert on parenting. As a first grade teacher, I had all the answers and knew just how children should be raised. I was truly convinced that I knew exactly how to be the perfect parent!

Then something happened… I gave birth to my own children, three of them…all at the same time! Yes, triplets!

Well, it didn’t take long before I realized that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. By the time my three adorable toddlers turned two, I was in deep trouble! For most of the day, it was three of them against one of me…and they were winning!

In desperation, I frantically read every parenting book I could find. Through lots of trial and error, I found some solutions only created more chaos and others worked only temporarily. But eventually, I discovered a few secrets that worked like magic!

I had no time to expound on my successes, but I vowed someday to gather and compile all the most helpful ideas and to share those secrets with other parents.

So, that’s why I’ve created this blog just for you! My deep desire is to fill these pages with lots of simple and practical ideas, skills, and strategies that you can implement immediately to make your parenting role easier and more rewarding!

I’m delighted to share this with you…